Godly Relationships Part 1: Courtship and Marriage

Marriage and Courtship

It is such a vast subject that I can't cover it all so these topics just skim the surface of a vast ocean of godly living for couples.

Please remember, dear brothers and sisters, that:

 2 Timothy 3:16-17
All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.  

We also have to remember that because God is truth and He cannot lie, then His word is absolute truth too.

Marriage is so important to God, it was the first institution to be set up by Him. 

Genesis 2:18-25 And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
And Adam said:


"This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man."


Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

He instituted it for long term companionship, security, procreation and because we are uniquely created in His image and different from the animals.

It is a picture of God's covenant with His people, the Israelites and was not to be broken

Malachi 2:11 Judah has dealt treacherously,
And an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem,
For Judah has profaned
The LORD's holy institution which He loves:
He has married the daughter of a foreign god.

People who fall away from this covenant had to be delivered

Proverbs 2:16-17 To deliver you from the immoral woman,
From the seductress who flatters with her words,
Who forsakes the companion of her youth,
And forgets the covenant of her God. 

Marriage is also a picture of Christ's relationship with His church

Ephesians 5:23-27 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

Revelation 21:9 Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls filled with the seven last plagues came to me and talked with me, saying, "Come, I will show you the bride, the Lamb's wife." 

At the heart of marriage there is to be intimacy and oneness

Genesis 2:18
And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

Genesis 2:24
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

God only intended marriage to be between a man and a woman - we see this clearly in all of these verses. Also sexual union must only take place after marriage:

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. 

I would go further and say that 2 people should not start courting unless they have marriage in mind! God takes His covenant seriously, and so should we!!

Sexual union is the ultimate binding together of the lifetime covenant between a man and woman - it is the sealing of their marriage vows. In effect they are both saying that they belong to each other and no other human! To have a relationship involving any sexual activity before marriage is going against God's eternal plan, not just for Christians but for the whole of humanity. It is also committing fornication - something Scripture condemns!

http://www.biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible?SearchType=AND&language=english&version=NKJV&searchpage=0&search=fornication

Far too many Christians take courtship and marriage too lightly - before entering into any relationship time should be spent on both sides praying and seeking the Lord's divine wisdom and counsel! You ask permission to marry a person from your earthly father, how much more we should consult with our Heavenly Father on these things!! God sees marriage as being very important. Contrary to modern thinking - marriage and the family are still the backbone of society! Why do you think Satan is using all his power to attack this very institution that is at the centre of God's heart?

Who should I marry then? The Bible is very clear on this issue:

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said:


"I will dwell in them
And walk among them.
I will be their God,
And they shall be My people."

Therefore

"Come out from among them
And be separate, says the Lord.
Do not touch what is unclean,
And I will receive you."
"I will be a Father to you,
And you shall be My sons and daughters,
Says the LORD Almighty."

Amos 3:3
Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? 

God tells us in His word that we are not to be conformed to this world (Romans 12:2). We have to be seperated from all worldliness - how can we be seperate if we marry someone who is of this world and has no love for Christ in their hearts? Christ would never allow an unbeliever to be part of His bride!

Mixed marriages lead to sin:

Exodus 34:16
and you take of his daughters for your sons, and his daughters play the harlot with their gods and make your sons play the harlot with their gods. 

Also read in 1 Kings 11, how Solomon turned to the gods of his heathen wives!!

In Nehemiah 13:23-27 - judgement fell upon those who were deliberately marrying heathens!

We need to stand firm in the faith and not do as the world does - the world waters down the word and makes it ineffective for witnessing! How can God bless us and send His Holy Spirit down to revive the church if we are going against His will and word? If we honour Him, He will honour us (1 Samuel 2:30b).

NB: If you are already married to a non-believer - don't go rushing out to get a divorce! PART 2 - Divorce and remarriage

May He bless you all richly with all the abundence of His providencial graces,

In Him

Carolyn xxxx